A group made to mentor two classes whose geographical distance from one another plays only a small role in how close they are.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Michael

I think I might have been a tad overzealous when I was commenting on Michael's blog, but the thoughts consistently poured out. Here is the comment, and you can find this comment and the corresponding post here, hope it was a great one.

"Hey there Michael,

Good job with your post summarizing these two chapters, though there might be some grammatical errors that you can fix. I find that writing a lot, even outside of school, tends to contribute to your progression and skill with using language in meaningful yet elegant methods. Also, I think you did a great job staying concise and right to the point with the ideas in your post.

Now, as I read through your post, I was particularly intrigued the statement: “The sounds of the shot then the pain and suffering you can hear is painful…” Did you intend for this statement to be entirely literal or did you attempt to implicate something deeper? Have you ever learned anything on double meanings? And if you really did intend this to be an implicit emotional conveyance, do you think that you can apply emotions that you felt or feel have a great connection with to any other events in these chapters?

There’s nothing wrong with trying to imply deeper meaning, in fact it might give the audience more insight into the significance of your statement and might even be used to project it’s true meaning or any accompanying moods or emotions that may be applicable. I find it to be good habit to try to expand the methods in which you approach your writing endeavours and in any way try to say as much as you can with as succinctly as possible.

Note that if there is any vocabulary present in my comment that you might not be familiar with, it would probably be a good idea to research then to help expand your overall language skills. Don’t be deterred by large words; try to let them entice you to pursue more knowledge.

Cheers,
MrSiwWy"

Darn it, I forgot to indicate that I'm a student mentor. =/ Though I hope that someone informs him or that he is already aware of this fact.

1 comment:

Lani said...

Hi MrSiwWy,

I think that Michael will definitely appreciate your commenting on how well he did with summarizing and "staying concise and right to the point with the ideas".

You noted, "I think I might have been a tad overzealous when I was commenting on Michael's blog--" which leads me to think you might be questioning what you wrote (I do that alot!)--

The questions you've asked Michael encourage him to think more deeply! How might your comment had a different kind of impact if you had ended at the second paragraph? Or not?

Best,
Lani